Tired of Misunderstandings? Here’s Your Rope

Not long ago, I was talking with a friend, and halfway through the conversation I realized—I had already decided what they were going to say. I wasn’t really listening. I was mind-reading. And when they didn’t respond the way I expected, I left feeling frustrated and misunderstood.

That’s the danger of relationships without anchors. We drift into assuming instead of asking, avoiding instead of addressing, or hiding instead of being honest. The result? Misunderstandings multiply, trust erodes, and connection feels fragile.

In other words: wise people slow down enough to listen, clarify, and understand. Foolish people assume, react, and speak without asking questions.

This matters deeply for our faith. Because Jesus was clear: the greatest commandment is to love God and love people (Matthew 22:37–39). Emotional health and spiritual health are inseparable. You can’t claim to be spiritually strong if your relationships are chronically unhealthy.

Here’s the good news: healthier rhythms in relationships don’t require perfection. They require small anchors—habits that steady your interactions and create space for honesty, trust, and love to grow.

One of the most powerful relational anchors is simple: stop mind-reading.

Instead of assuming what your spouse meant by their tone… ask.
Instead of deciding what your coworker’s silence means… clarify.
Instead of holding onto a hidden expectation your friend didn’t meet… share it out loud.

It feels awkward at first, but clarity builds connection. And connection anchors you both.

Ask Yourself:

• Where am I most tempted to assume instead of ask?

• What hidden expectation have I placed on someone that I’ve never spoken out loud?

• How would my relationships shift if I chose to clarify with grace instead of accuse with frustration?

Call to Action:

• Stop mind-reading. This week, practice asking clarifying questions instead of assuming. Example: Instead of thinking “They don’t care”, ask: “Hey, when you said that earlier, did you mean ___?” It might feel small, but it’s an anchor that steadies love, trust, and respect.

• For premium subscribers, we have “Relational Anchors Worksheet”— A simple tool with 5 questions designed to help you clarify expectations and strengthen communication. Use it with your spouse, coworker, or friend to anchor your relationships in truth and grace.

• Forward this to someone you know who’s been wrestling with a tough relationship. It might be the encouragement they need this week. Also—don’t miss the Faith Forward Podcast episode dropping Monday, where we unpack how to build trust and clarity without the guesswork.

I’d love to hear from you: Hit reply and tell me—what happened when you clarified one expectation this week?

One Step at a Time.

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